rules for driving in ottawa

[A.K.A]

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Ottawa driver never uses them.

2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. Ontario is a no-fault insurance Province and the other guy doesn't have anything to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are apparently not enforceable in Ottawa during rush hour.

9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that an Ottawa driver, flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Ottawa is the home of the high-speed slalom driving thanks to the Provincial Highway Department, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.

12. It is traditional in Ottawa to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light turns green.

13. Remember that the goal of every Ottawa driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.

14. In the Ottawa area, 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a polite Ottawa salute. This gesture should always be returned.

[dguy]

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are apparently not enforceable in Ottawa during rush hour.

Quite the opposite, actually.  During your average week-day rush hour, it's damn near impossible to exceed the speed limit for any noticeable duration.  At these times the limit is enforced by sheer traffic volume--no cops are needed.  

[Kitten]

2.1  You must speed up and eliminate the gap between you and the car in front of you if you see someone in the opposite lane to the one you are in put they`re blinker on.  Except in cases where rule 5 are in place, unless of course your car is the one that requires the extensive body work