Mallory and I went to pick up the Buick. It wasn't at the guy's house, but at his work...dead like a doornail. No start, battery was fine. Coolant gone from overflow, mostly gone from the rad, and mayo in the oil cap.
Jumping from GM (there wasn't much for sale), we ended up with a 93 LeBaron. We'll see how this works out. It will have 14" Fiero wheels with snows.