Don't Mess with Mom

[lacelles]

 Don't Mess With Mom
>
> My son came home from school one day, with a smirk upon his face. He
> decided he was smart enough, to put me in my place.
>
> "Guess what I learned in Civics Two, that's taught by Mr. Wright? It's
> all about the laws today, The "Children's Bill of Rights."
>
> It says I need not clean my room, don't have to cut my hair. No one can
> tell me what to think, or speak, or what to wear.
>
> I have freedom from religion,
> and regardless what you say,
> I don't have to bow my head,
> and I sure don't have to pray.
>
> I can wear earrings if I want,
> And pierce my tongue and nose. I can read and watch just what I like,
> and get tattoos from head to toes.
>
> And if you ever spank me, I'll charge you with a crime. I'll back up
> all my charges, with the marks on my behind.
>
> Don't you ever touch me, my body's only for my use, not for your hugs
> and kisses, that's just more child abuse.
>
> Don't preach about your morals, like your Mama did to you. That's
> nothing more than mind control, and it's illegal too!
>
> Mom, I have these children's rights, so you can't influence me, or I'll
> call Children's Services Division, better known as C.S.D.
>
> Of course my first instinct was to toss him out the door. But the
> chance to teach him a lesson made me think a little more.
>
> I mulled it over carefully,
> I couldn't let this go.
> A smile crept upon my face,
> he's messing with a pro.
>
> The next day I took him shopping at the local Goodwill Store. I told
> him,"Pick out all you want, there's shirts and pants galore. I've
> called and checked with C.S.D. who said they didn't care if I bought
> you K-Mart shoes instead of those Nike Airs.
>
> And I've canceled that appointment to take your driver's test. The
> C.S.D. is unconcerned so I'll decide what's best."
>
> I said "No time to stop and eat, or pick up stuff to munch.
> And tomorrow you can start to learn to make your own sack lunch."
>
> Just save the raging appetite,
> and wait till dinner time.
> We're having liver and onions, a favorite dish of mine.
>
> He asked "Can I please rent a movie, to watch on my VCR?"
> "Sorry, but I sold your TV, to put new tires on my car."
>
> I also rented out your room,
> you'll take the couch instead.
> All the C.S.D. requires is a roof for over your head.
>
> Your clothing won't be trendy now, and I'll choose what we eat.
> That allowance that you used to get, will buy me something neat.
>
> I'm selling off your jet ski,
> dirt-bike and roller blades.
> Check out the "Parents Bill of Rights," It's in effect today!
>
> Hey hot shot, are you crying,
> and why are you on your knees?
> Are you asking God to help you out, instead of C.S.D.?